Travelling Solo | On Accepting Decisions and Your Comfort Zone

Imagine sitting in a lonely hut. The branches of the forest sway and creak and the light drizzle whispers its comfort against the windows. You want to be happy, but there’s this one question burning in your head: Should I leave this beautiful place?

Two weeks ago, I ventured into the unknown: I went to Norway on my second solo trip. While I enjoyed travelling back to the country I fell in love with during my semester abroad, I also experienced a lot of uncertainty and loneliness. Which is why I made a terrible decision.

Lonely stargazing

Welcome back to my chaotic mid-twenties! It’s been a while since I posted an article about my latest learnings in life. Thanks to my endless curiosity, there is no shortage of them, but I do need to write them down more often.

I’m between two jobs and that means a lot of free time to be used for travelling. Although there a millions of places on my travel list, I decided to pay Norway a visit again – and it wasn’t as easy and comfortable as I thought. Instead of enjoying travelling with no plans and nearly endless time, I doubted myself and quickly felt lonely. I have nothing against being alone – spending quality time with myself is as important as keeping in touch with my friends and family. But something felt different on that trip, so I decided to at least visit Trondheim and then fly home.

Self-criticism and comparison

Thanks to my social nature, I quickly found wonderful people in the hostel and we spent the next two days together before they had to leave. It left me with some time to think about my decision. Why had I been so afraid of being alone? Why hadn’t I been brave enough to embrace the unknown and overcome these negative feelings?

While I could have approached these questions from a neutral perspective, my inner critic took over and I was disappointed at my rushed decision. I told myself that my plans had been shattered by my anxiety and again fell into comparing myself to other travellers who “just did it” without having to think twice.

I don’t have to tell you that it was an unhealthy reaction. Yes, my plans changed – but isn’t this the definition of life? Things rarely happen as we want them to. It can be intimidating, but exciting too. It can open new paths we never would have taken. And it teaches us one crucial lesson: the past cannot be undone. No matter how long we ponder about it, no matter how angry or disappointed we are: it doesn’t change a thing. We of course should allow feelings to unfold themselves, as supressing them would be even more unhealthy. But instead of absorbing them, we should rather observe them. It’s okay to feel. It makes us vulnerable and human.

I have noticed that I tend to compare myself to others whenever I feel low or make a different decision than most of the people around me. All the other travellers shared their fantastic stories and plans and all I could say was “Well, I flew to Oslo, went to Trondheim and in three days…I’m flying home.” Sounds boring? Could have been more? Yes and no. For others perhaps yes, for me definitely no. It’s crazy how much I learned during my short trip, how many diverse people I met and how much my personality grew. That’s the beauty of travelling: we’re inspired by other cultures and the breathtaking landscapes every country has to offer.

What others do doesn’t matter. Trust me when I say this is a lesson I yet have to learn, but I’m beginning to grasp its importance. I’ve already written an article about unhealthy comparison and that it is, objectively speaking, very unintelligent to do so. It simply doesn’t make sense to compare ourselves to a person with a different background. We can certainly draw inspiration from them, but we should never compare ourselves to them. What matters is our path, our decisions and our lessons. We all came to this earth to learn, but we all do it in our unique way.

On comfort zones

Speaking of uniqueness, let us talk about comfort zone. I have seen much content about breaking out of comfort zones and while I’m a huge fan of taking unbeaten paths, I find it equally important to take it slow. Or rather: in our own pace. I recently had a talk with a friend about our comfort zones and she criticised that comfort zones often seem to be about the grand things – travelling solo to a country you’ve never been before for example. She is just fine with staying in her hometown and plan a future with her partner. I shared her critical opinion and said that comfort zones are incredibly individual. They depend on our background, experiences, upbringing and many more. For some, founding their own business is the next challenge. For some, it could “just” be going to a café alone. There is no right and wrong, no too slow or too fast. It’s your story and you’re the only one able to write it.

Thank you for reading! Like and share on Instagram, it means a lot! Remember: we all face challenges and fail from time to time. It’s not about avoiding failure, it’s about how we react to it. Are we scared to try again? Or do we chase after our dreams?

You chase after your dream of course. You got this!

Stay kind and curious,

Sara