The fine line between inspiration and comparison

There are numerous uncertainties in life, but one thing I am absolutely sure of is: everyone of us  is an individual. We have different backgrounds, characters, strengths and difficulties. It takes a lot of effort to understand the depths of society, let alone our own ones, and one life is not enough to grasp how diverse we are. Being an individual is fantastic, but there is no harm in being inspired by other people. One thing we might struggle with, however, is comparison. And that, on the other hand, can be very harmful. 

The topic for this post came up when I was talking with a friend about a new book he has been engaged in lately. He was very impressed by the author. She has several degrees in prestigious universities, is bilingual and published an amazing, well-researched book. He asked me: “How can someone have their life so put together?” 

Everything the author has achieved is impressive. I am a writer myself and though I haven’t published a book yet, I know how much work is put into writing a single story, let alone a whole book. I am working on a novel currently and the process is incredibly slow and takes a lot of time. So, I understood his positive impression. Yet, a thought rumoured in the back of my head. Is he inspired by her or is he comparing himself to her? 

We can learn a lot from people who have lived more of this life than us. It doesn’t have to be a famous personality, it can be the people surrounding you. An example from my life are my parents. My mom immigrated to Germany at the age of 26 and followed my dad who had immigrated several years ago. She had no knowledge of German and left her whole family behind. This teaches me that steps leading you into the unknown are necessary to grow and although you might feel alone, there are amazing people willing to help you. 

My dad became self-employed this year at nearly 60. He had been talking about starting a business for years, but fear had been in his way. He had conquered it and there are no words to describe how proud I am of him. This teaches me that there is no “too late”. No matter what you plan to do, you are never too old. Life is too short to worry about age. 

I could name many more people, but let us return to my friend. I responded that all of the author’s achievements had a price. Studying at such prestigious universities is difficult and exhausting and everybody must know if they are willing to invest that amount of time and energy or if less known universities are enough. Planning, writing and publishing a book takes a lot of effort. Who knows how much time she has devoted to it, what sacrifices she had to make? Moreover, we do not know about the author’s background. I am sure she too has struggled in her life and is still struggling with certain things, because life is filled with surprises and challenges. Life is not a straight line, it is a rushing river prone to rock you from side to side. 

The line between inspiration and comparison is thin. If we compare ourselves to other people, we fail to recognise the differences between us and how those differences create uniqueness. We forget that everybody faces struggles, fears and emotionally demanding times. Most importantly, we do not appreciate what we have achieved so far. Think of all the challenges you have gone through, of everything you have created, of every single day you breathe and try your best. If that is not impressive, I don’t know what could be.

Comparing ourselves to others doesn’t only decrease our happiness, it can also lead to jealousy. Every human emotion has its right to exist, but jealousy is the first step of a downward spiral. Next time you fall into the trap of thinking that another person’s life is so “well-organised” and “perfect”: remember the uniqueness of every one of us, what you have achieved so far and that everything has its price. Maybe you can draw some inspiration from that organised life? Be curious and ask with an open mind.  

Being inspired does not mean to copy every single step of the respective person. It means to learn from their positive and negative experiences and draw courage for our own life. This is your story. Nobody can write it but you. 

Are you prone to envy and comparing yourself to others? What or who are you inspired by? It means the world if you leave a comment, subscribe and share. Make sure to say hi at Instagram.

Stay curious, 

Sara 

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This is a re-post from my old blog.