12 wisdoms of 2023

What an eventful year! As the year is drawing to a close, I am astonished and admittedly shocked how quickly it has passed. Every year, I am looking forward to the colder seasons, and within the blink of an eye, they are over. I can’t tell you if this is a good sign – it means, perhaps, that we have experienced a great deal? At the same time, it reminds us that life is not eternal and that we are growing up fast, sometimes too fast. Growing up can be intimidating, but it also means gaining experience and wisdom.

Why not share this wisdom? I asked the people around me about their most crucial learning this year. 365 days are a wonderful opportunity to learn more about ourselves and the world around us. It can be on purpose, surprising or hard-learned. I was touched how open the answers were and felt deep gratefulness for my close relationships. I could learn a lot, and I am sure you can too.

#1

It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it. It’s not what you see, it’s how you look at it. It’s not how your life is, it’s how you live it.

#2

Relationships don’t have to last forever. Some things just don’t last forever, however beautiful they were – you have to enjoy them while you can.

#3

Stepping out of your comfort zone and, for example, approach people you meet regularly but just spare a nod, can lead to the strongest and most unexpected friendships.

#4

Prioritise your health over your studies.

Author's note: Putting effort in something is not bad per se, but there is a line we often cross because of not listening to the subtle signals our body is sending us. Your health is one of the most important things in your life you have to protect at all cost.

#5

You should let go of things and not hold on to them at all cost just because they have always been that way. Right now, I’m not working at jobs I enjoy a 100%, but it’s not the end of my journey and my current jobs have shown me possibilities off the beaten track – there will always be a way to your dream.

#6

Enjoy the little things in life and never stop dreaming. And be grateful for and appreciate the people who are always there for you und bring light into your life.

#7

You don’t have to be friends with everyone.

Author's note: While this advice seems harsh at first, I resonated with it when I had thought about it for a moment. Sometimes, people step into our life and we become friends with them. We may get along with them, but we always have to ask ourselves if the friendship is a benefit for both of us. It’s also crucial to know how many relationships we can juggle at once, i.e. how high our social capacity is.

#8

At the end of the day, everything will fall in its place. It may not seem that way at first, but all you can do is just do what you can and everything will be all right.

#9

I can have trust in my family and friends. For example, when I make a mistake, I now know that they don’t will be mad at me forever and that I can allow myself to speak about it.

#10

There are many things I have learned this year. The thing that has made the biggest difference is getting to know myself better. I've become more aware of my body and my strengths so that I can consciously make use of them – now I discover my weaknesses and then differentiate which losses I'm willing to accept or develop strategies to contain them. At the same time, I experiment and instead of giving in to mistakes, I analyse them and find out where I can improve for the next one. In principle: use every failure as a learning experience. Theory is all well and good, but it only has value if you learn to use it.

And finally: life is so much more relaxed when you surround yourself with people you feel comfortable with. That means being allowed to be who you are and thus enriching the lives of others. So, getting to know yourself also means listening to certain signs: when am I relaxed and when am I tense? When am I constantly looking for things I could or shouldn't say or do? It also means having more space for relationships because I know when I am blinded by my own whims. It gives me the space to get to know the other person as they are.

#11

I learned to be more compassionate towards the things I did to keep myself safe in the past. For a long time, I felt less worthy for having anxiety, being highly sensitive, overthinking, over-responsibility. The list goes on. It wasn’t till now that I realized why these habits formed and it brought me so much peace. I’m not flawed, I’m not weak and there is absolutely nothing shameful about the way I dealt and still deal with certain traumas. Even though, I still hope that these responses better over time, I made the first step and made peace with the darker parts of myself.

#12

What I learned this year, or better, what I started learning and continue learning for a long time probably:

There is pain and there is suffering. Pain is something outside of our control, suffering is often self made. I’m not necessarily talking about physical pain here, but rather emotional pain. Take the example of a cancelled train for instance: we cannot control whether the train is running or not, nor can we change the fact that it was cancelled. This is pain, it comes from the outside, from circumstances that we have no control over. What we can control, though, is our reaction to it. Being angry, annoyed, in a bad mood and upset is suffering created by oneself. Sure, a cancelled train is annoying, it might have bigger or smaller consequences on the rest of our day, might destroy plans we made before. But being annoyed about it doesn’t change the circumstance, it doesn’t ease the pain, it only adds suffering. We have the power to choose how to react, whether to choose suffering or whether to choose surrendering: we accept the situation and the fact that we can’t change it.

It sounds easy but is obviously so much harder to actually implement once our train is cancelled. But I think, if we actively try to choose surrendering instead of suffering, there will be less frustration and more kindness in the world. And isn’t that what we all want?

Thank you all so much for participating and your trust. There is still so much to learn and we have the strength and will to face the challenges of the next year! What was your most curcial learning? Share it in the comments and be open to the wisdom of your people. And don't forget to come by on Instagram.

Stay curious, healthy and positive.

Sara